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Bullying

 

DIRECT AND INDIRECT FORMS OF BULLYING

Direct: verbal bullying with derogatory comments and nasty names and physical bullying with hitting, kicking, shoving, and spitting (This is more common among boys)

Indirect: social isolation (intentionally excluding someone from a group or activity), spreading lies, nasty rumors and cyber-bullying  (This is more common among girls)

Most common form of bullying is by nonphysical means (by words).

1. Bullying causes pain and stress to victims
2. Bullying is never justified or excusable as “kids being kids,” “just teasing” or any other rationalization
3. The victim is never responsible for being the target of a bully

CHARACTERISTICS OF STUDENTS WHO BULLY OTHERS

  • Have a positive attitude toward violence and the use of violent means
  • Have strong needs to dominate and subdue other students and to get their own way
  • Are impulsive and easily angered
  • Show little empathy toward students who are bullied
  • Are defiant and aggressive toward adults, including teachers and parents  

WHY DO SOME STUDENTS BULLY?

  • Students who bully have strong needs for power and (negative) dominance; they seem to enjoy being “in control” and subduing other
  • Students who bully find satisfaction in causing injury and suffering to other students.  This is at least partly due to the environment at home, which may have caused hostility within the student
  • Students who bully are often rewarded in some way for their behavior.  This could be material or psychological rewards, such as forcing the student how is bullied to give them money or steal for them, or enjoying the attention, status, and prestige they are granted from other students because of their behavior

*SET AN EXAMPLE:  NEVER JOIN IN ANY LAUGHTER, TEASING OR GOSSIP ASSOCIATED WITH BULLYING!

EFFECTS OF BULLYING ON THE VICTIM

  • FEAR: Bullies make everyone afraid even those who aren’t targets.
  • SHAME: The person who is bullied often feels worthless and powerless.  Witnesses may feel ashamed that they lack the courage to stop the bully.
  • HOPELESSNESS: They may not feel safe and they may begin to fear that nothing can protect them from harm
  • VIOLENCE:  Violence can quickly spread out of control.  Remember violence is never the answer!
  • LOSS OF FREEDOM: Fear of a bully may cause young people to avoid certain places or activities.
  • ABSENCE FROM SCHOOL: Young people may become so frightened of a bully that they stop going to school altogether. 

WHAT CAN YOU DO IF YOU ARE BULLIED? 

“Getting even” with a bully can cause more problems than it solves.  Victims of bullies are not helpless.  Here are a few things for you to try if you find yourself being bullied:

  • Tell a friend!  Ask your friend to help you.  It is harder to pick on someone who has someone else there to give support.
  • Walk Away!  It’s really hard to bully someone who will not stand there and listen.
  • Chill Out!  Bullies seem to target kids who respond to their taunts-girls who cry easily, or boys who fly off the handle.  TRY HARD not to show emotion.  It’s almost impossible to bully someone who does not seem to care.
  • Write It Down!  Keep track of what happens.  Get dates, times, places, and witnesses.  Write down exactly what the bully says.  This gives you an accurate account of what has happened.
  • Get An Adult Involved!  Your parents, your teachers, your principals, guidance counselors are ready to help anyone who is being bullied, but they can’t help if they don’t know.  Show them the things you have written down, tell them about the friends you have had with you when the bully tried to bully.  The sooner you tell an adult the sooner the bullying will stop.

Tattling is when a student tells an adult what another student did simply to get him or her into trouble. 

Telling is when a student tells an adult what another student did because that student’s actions were unsafe or hurt another person.